One Mom's Journey

Every morning during the week starts off the same.  I get up before the kiddies, hop in the shower: 7 minutes. Brush teeth, apply face creams: 5 minutes.  Throw hair in wet pony-bun: 30 seconds. Choose work clothes and get dressed: 5 minutes.  Wake up children, make breakfast, clean disaster, maybe sit down with kids: 15 minutes.  Make lunch, apply make-up: 5 minutes.  Give multiple hugs and kisses to children and husband, then run out the door, coffee in hand - feeling guilty and questioning my decision to go to work over raising
my little ones.

This is my struggle, every single Monday to Friday.  I know I am not alone.

I arrive at work - before about 80% of the staff at the office so that I can leave before the traffic hits and go see my babies.

This is my life, every Monday to Friday.

I sit in my cubicle, working hard for my pay check, just like every other person in the office.  I am thankful for a job that helps me pay my millions of bills - but not a second goes by where I don't wonder how my children are fairing under another caregivers supervision.

This is my struggle, every single Monday to Friday.  I know I am not alone, but I am thankful to have money to pay the bills that buy the groceries and cloth my children.

At the end of the day, I get in my car, hop on the toll highway, so I can get to my children faster and avoid traffic.  When I arrive at the daycare, I am greeted with so much joy, that tears are falling from their eyes...and

Before children, my husband and I would be a lot more adventuresome with vacations. Hotel and country hopping in Europe would not be as easy or as smooth with little kids.  We have had to reconsider our styles of vacations.  Everything is more complicated.  Here are some excellent steps to take when researching a vacation with children to help remove some of that complication.

1. Decide whether or not you will get shots: this will give you a timeline for scheduling your dates since some shots have to be administered several weeks before leaving.  We are searching vaccinations specific to Mexico to make sure we are covered.
2. Make sure all passports are up to date.  Babies need passports too.
3. Check validation of travel insurance.  Make sure any new additions to the family are included on this travel insurance.
4. Decide on what style of vacation: All inclusive, a la carte, condo/house rental, tropical or exploration. I always check up on my resorts and highly recommend it.  
5. Talk with friends and family.  Referrals are always a good starting point for choosing the right destination.

For those of you who don't know the expression: the "Man" is the boss.  So if you work for the "Man" then you are employed, if you are the "Man" then you are self-employed.  I have been both and want to share my list of pros and cons for these two categories.

Working for the "Man"

When I finished my first degree in Marketing, I worked for a huge Marketing company that was all about rearing new grads into super fueled Marketing workaholic machines.  They did not have that affect on me - in fact, they were the company that paved the path to self-employment.  So let's start with the pros and cons of working for the "Man".

Pros

Cons

·         Steady pay check ·         Fixed hours (usually) ·         Paid Vacation ·         Company culture ·         Parties ·         Monthly cake in some cases (for birthdays) ·         Bonuses (in some cases) ·         Pay raises ·         Promotions ·         Praise ·         Car allowances and gas cards (in some cases) ·         Salary + commission (in some cases)

·         Steady pay cheque (no fluctuation in cash flow can be a con) ·         Unpaid hours (even though it is against the law) ·         Set number of vacation days ·         Company politics (you typically don't win if you are not a senior employee) ·         Cleakie and groupie (kind of like high school) ·         Not secure (unless government job) ·         Commute to work (if it is long) ·         Expected to work overtime ·         Most raises are based on inflation rate ·         Hard to have work life balance

Pretty even on both sides.  As you can see, depending on how you look at things a pro can also be a con.

Being the "Man" - Self-Employed

Being self-employed is no cake-walk, but it definitely has some advantages, again, depending on how you look at it.  Here is a list of pros and cons for the self-employed.

It was almost as clear as a slap in the face.  All signs were pointing down one path and someone was even leaving me bread crumbs to follow.  I just went with it - and kept on trecking.  I will tell you briefly what happened so you can see how I followed the signs.

Before I returned back to work in June of 2013, I was at the mall with my two girls and my mom.  We were heading to the food court on the second floor, but the elevator was broken, so we had to find another way up since we had the stroller with us.  That delay caused a series of events, which I refer to as "signs".  Once we made it to the second floor, we were stopped dead in our tracks by two women passer by's asking my daughters to try on some new hat samples. They did not work at the mall, they were heading out.  If we hadn't been delayed we never would have met these ladies, and the series of events that followed that meeting never would have happened.  Being the inquisitive type, I asked one of the women about her business and she proceeded to tell me how she gave up her career as a lawyer to pursue this new business venture with her mom - and it is now world wide.  I picked her mind, and we exchanged numbers.  I called her the following week to ask her a million and one questions about how she did it - and she referred me to a a published author and a self published author, both of whom had no problem spending 20 minutes on the phone with me.  I just kept on picking up the bread crumbs and following the trail.  Finally I was referred to a print broker and the rest just flowed from there.

Taking the Plunge

The "signs" were there, the "want" was there and the passion was obvious.  This is where I stopped questioning everything and just dove right in head first.  To be honest, that is how I have always done it, and with no regrets.  Every business I have started and ended has been a learning curve, and at the age of 33, I feel more prepared than ever to take on this venture and make it happen.  What I have learned over the years is that too much analyzing and questioning leads to "nothing".  If strategies are over analyzed, or over developed, they lead to failure.  Why?  Because our environment that we live in is constantly changing.  We must constantly adapt to that change, therefor waiting around to build that perfect strategy - does not exist. I am a firm believer in an initial strategy, but I also know that change has to be part of it.  I say, just do it, take the plunge.  In fact, ask any successful entrepreneur how prepared they were when they started, and I bet you the same answer will surface.  I was not prepared, I just jumped in head first and took the plunge.

One of my favourite bloggers who I love to quote says the following and I stand behind this 100 percent: 

"If you’re working on something important, then you’ll never feel ready. A side effect of doing challenging work is that you’re pulled by excitement and pushed by confusion at the same time.You’re bound to feel uncertain, unprepared, and

It is so easy to get distracted.  It is so easy to follow the wrong trail, leading down a dark and dreary alley, it is even easier to make up excuses and point fingers.  The truth is, it was likely your fault to begin with.  You drifted off path. Admit it, it was no ones fault but your own.

Here it is, your top 10 ways to stay on path to your goals, counting down to the number one way to stay on path.

10) Do something small every single day that is related to your goal
9)   Write your ideas down - keep a journal beside your bed
8)   Talk about your goals with others

When I was in my early twenties, I dated men that were older, one that was almost 10 years older, and I will never forget when we broke up he said "you are still so young, you will not believe what you will learn and how much you will mature over the next few years."  At the time, I thought I knew everything, I thought I was so well rounded and educated and smart, I thought I could replace life learning's with book knowledge. Boy was I wrong.  I knew nothing of emotional control, nothing of how the "real world" worked, nothing of "how to respect people" nothing of "true love".

Without further ado, here are the top ten things I would have done differently if I knew then what I know now:

1. Been nicer to kids in elementary school - respected and treated everyone equally instead of judging and trying to be better than everyone else.

This post describes my personality type, but you know what, if you are reading this, it is probably yours too. So read on.

To sum it up, I am a mom of three and their is a big age gap between number 1 and numbers 2 and 3, so our weekends get split up into many different activities for many different age groups - but you know what?  That is really beside the point.  I am an entrepreneur, and with life's awesome gift, children, I cannot possibly use them as an excuse to put my goals and my life on the back burner.  I did not accidentally have children, I chose this lifestyle, and with the "busy-ness" of it all, I decided that I would not forfeit my "business" due to it all.  For all of you right now who are nodding your heads and thinking - ya - she is totally right!  This is for you.

Here is the plan, and here is how I stick to it.

Set Realistic Goals

A goal is something measurable, and anyone who has studied in business probably knows this definition off hand, but for those of you who don't, this is what a goal is: an observable and measurable end result having one or more objectives to be achieved within a more or less fixed timeframe (www.businessdictionary.com/definition/goal.html).  According to this definition we must set objectives to accomplish a goal.  What have I done? I have set the objective of blogging at least three times a week.  This goal is now measurable. If I meet this goal, it means I have posted at least three times in a week, if I do not post, then I do not meet this goal.

You will notice that I have placed the word "realistic" in front of the word "goals" in the subheading.  Why? Because let's face it, as mentioned previously, with all the busy-ness of my life, I need to make this realistic in order to succeed.  The more I succeed, the more motivated I remain.

Talk about your goals
This is not to be mistaken as bragging.  This is something I share with my family so they can encourage me to remain on track.  I share this information with people who have an interest in what I do and an interest in wanting me to succeed, like a husband, or parent or best friend.  I also share these goals with my eldest child who even though he doesn't know it, I am sneakily sharing valuable life lessons with him, similar to suggestively selling him on tactics for success.

By talking about your goals, you are sending confirmation to the world that you are going to do this, and you are going to succeed. This is a very important step in what you do.

Be Mindful of Time

As a busy person, maybe you have a full time job already, or two!  Maybe you have a full time job plus kids, plus a part time job - this does not make this unachievable, you just need to set your goals to respect the amount of time you have to dedicate to this.  For example: I work full time and take care of my kids in the evenings - I blog and schedule my social content after kids go to bed (normally over a glass of wine).  I have cut the amount of time I spend in front of the TV so that I can achieve my goals.  You will rarely see me posting while I am spending time with my kids, because like I mentioned earlier, I chose them, so I must pay attention to them.

For those of you who are saying, OMG, how do you find time to do all of this?  I say, cut the crap. You know if you tried, you could find time.  Something would have to give, like watching TV, or mopping the floor and cleaning the bathrooms ten times a week.  Like my mom always says, when there is a will, there is a way.

Re-evaluate your Goals

And finally, re-evaluate your goals.  Goals, like businesses, can become stale, or expired if they are not re-evaluated from time to time.  For example: as my readership grows, the demand for more compelling content driven blog posts will follow.  If I continue to only post three times a week, I may lose readers who crave daily content. That is particular to blogging, lets reference something like a product.  If you are selling one product and your goal was to sell 100 pieces a month, eventually your demand will trickle above this number, so you will have to increase your goals and motivate yourself and/or sales people to sell more.  Set new goals, higher ones, but keep them realistic to breed success and not failure.

In summary, everything boils down to setting realistic and achievable goals. Don't fool yourself. Major accomplishments do not happen over night.  And most people who make major accomplishments have committed themselves to their goals. So stop making excuses about not having enough time and start small, with achievable goals, and watch, you will succeed.

Laura Page-Hamelin
Author/Illustrator
www.lphillustrations.com